Bored.

Well, yes I am really bored as the title says. It's not even a day since I wrote, but I'm pretty bored right now and I don't have anything going on or planned for awhile so I guess I'll just write. Ever since the moment I woke up I have had so much on my mind and I'm  not quite sure how to get it out. Right now I'm watching Fruits Basket and I'm kinda falling for another anime guy, but I'm pretty sure Tamaki is always going to be my only love. I know it's really dumb to think about a pretend character but I can't really help it. He's just everything I want in a guy and I keep on finding all these guys in real life that are exactly like him. Every time I see his face I smile, without even thinking. I know most people out there wouldn't understand how it really is, but for the people who really do I'm grateful.

I'm not sure where to go on from here... there are all those guys out there and the two friends brothers that I like but I'm not really sure what all of life means at the moment. There is just so much crap that I don't understand, making it nearly even more impossible to think. I guess the point is, is that I need some direction. Praying helps, but I think what I need is my patriarchal blessing because that is direction meant for me(: Anyway, back to the point. Last night at dinner I found yet another Tamaki (he was one of the waiters)  and all we exchanged was smiles. I guess that's probably a good thing because he was like six or seven years older than me. I know I'll find my true love one day, but for now I guess I've just gotta keep dreaming about it.

Sometimes I wish it were easier... without all of this crap... doubting myself, my future, what I'll turn out to be. I'm really surprised about how much an anime show can make you think but I guess it's because she's a natural thinker and in a way I'm kind of like her like that, It's making me wonder though... could it mean something that I'm thinking about all of this right now, like I'm supposed to be getting something out of this. In a way it's bringing me a lot of good cheer as-well, knowing that something is totally bound to happen but I have no idea what it is yet. I've written forever, so I'm going to go for now but I'll probably be back later with more(:
Love, Always,
Emma Suoh <3

New Crush, Starting Over

Well, for awhile I liked this guy but now that I'm over him I like two other guys. The really dumb thing is that they are both my friends older brothers. One of them is sixteen, the other one is nineteen. (Some of you will know who I'm talking about.) One of those crushes just started today and I'm not quite even sure why I like him yet. I mean, he has gorgeous eyes and he's so nice, and he loves anime like me... and yeah. I guess I sorta just explained all of it, but I'm still kind of confused. He's different... but in a good way and I can't help but smile when I think about how we met. Me and my friend were just sitting in her room watching Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and then her brother walks in. He doesn't really say much except for hi and tell me that I should watch it.. but he was so sweet, and it was so easy to talk to him that I can't help it. He's so different from the other guy I like. So much easier to talk to... so much friendlier and he doesn't like I'm an idiot. Too bad he likes another girl... figures so does my other crush. I guess I just need to face the fact that I'm not gonna find my husband at the age of fifteen and I need to really keep my focus on what I was before. I'll write more as soon as I can, but right now I gotta go to a wedding. <3
Deepest love to everybody. Especially Tamaki Suoh(: <3
Emma