4:00 AM

Yes, I am still awake. It's funny, because most of the time when I try to pull an all nighter I just end up falling asleep from exhaustion, but now I'm kind of wanting to go to bed and this is the time when my body decides to pull an all nighter. Sorry if I'm annoying you guys, but this is really getting on my nerves as well. I have another episode of CSI on, but I'm still having a lack of concentration. This is so hard for me to deal with. Ever since Saturday, I've been thinking a lot about my ex-boyfriend. Problem is, he likes my best friend now. Well, it's so gerat to get this out. I should probably be putting this on my top-secret blog that no one reads, but I'm being nice today and you can all hear about my tragic love story. Or more like plural love stories. I'm so sick of everything. He's in love with my really close friend. She's practically exactly the same as me, and ugh! I didn't even realize I liked him this much until now. I've pretended to hate him for so long that when I finally started thinking about it, all of that hate I let boil up inside of me was really only leading in the opposite direction I wanted it to. He told me that our relationship was on pause and that he wasn't sure how long it would be on pause before he was ready to give me another chance. I am so exhausted. Physically, and emotionally and the sleep WILL NOT COME no matter how hard I try. This episode is very entertaining but I keep on zoning out... and then when I zone out, it's really annoying because I lose track of everything that's happening in the show. Still, all that matters is that I catch up I guess. I do realize that I really do need at least some sleep, so I'll probably just get it in Seminary. I do love that class, but it's really the only sleep I'd possibly even have a chance of getting some rest in. I'm kind of angry right now... and I don't really know why. I thought I'd gotten over all of the angry feelings I was having last week, but apparently I was not even close to the end.  Haha I love this show... It adds humor to the crime. Yes, yes it does. I feel like I'm on opposite laughing gas... I'm so depressed for absolutely no reason. I swear I could write a novel with all of the posts I'm writing today, so I'm going to try not to write very much more, but I wish you guys all have good days even if I don't!

Love Y'all!
Emma

Sleeping Meds, Anybody?

Well, sleep has not fallen yet, as you may be aware by my typing another post at this early hour. I know it's only been an hour or so since I last posted, but I've still got a lot on my mind even if it doesn't really make sense to me at the moment right now. So, I've turned on another Criminal Minds that I am already deeply caught up into even though it just barely started. The only problem is all of the freakin' commercials. I am so tired of life right now. I'm not really speaking of doing anything dangerous, I wish I could just hibernate like a bear. You know, escape from the world for awhile. This show is so easy for me to figure out. Like when I just barely start watching it I can already tell who the criminal is. Even before the show tells you that's who it is. Wow... Sometimes the criminals on these shows happen to be so adorable!!!! And the victims. Like on the CSI I was watching before the guy that died was adorable. He was a very bad guy... but usually the guy that is the most horrible are the ones that you seem to like the most. This guy... Now, he's a babe. His name is Brandon, and he's kind of the bad boy type, but I love him. Maybe it's because he reminds me of this certain guy that I used to--and maybe still do like. Ooh... This is exciting... a Boyfriend and a Girlfriend.... alone. What is going on here? Ooh, he just got dissed. No more girlfriend for him! Sorry about my rambling on right now, I've just got a lot to figure out and sometimes rambling acutally helps me clear my head. Even though sometimes it just stresses me out. I'm thinking maybe I should try to get some sleep, but I'm too scared to even try in fear of having another nightmare about death or someone special dying. This is just a little bit too dramatic for me. I'm really in need of a long hibernation. Or... better yet, I could get some lavender flavored bath scent and maybe some mint, and eat some chocolate. Anybody want to give me some? I'd really appreciate it. I'll probably write more in an hour or so...
Till THEN....
Emma

Well I'm Back Again...

Look at the time. OMG!It's 2:04 in the morning right now :/ Yeah, I can't sleep right now. I'm pretty sure that it isn't because I'm watching Criminal Minds because that is actually kind of calming me down. I really want to be able to sleep again, but for some dumb reason I can't sleep--Well, I know why, but for some reason I don't really feel like telling the whole long story about my relationship problems. I know I've told you all of this stuff before, but today I'm feeling kind of sheepish about all of the romance crap. I don't really know what to say about all of this, but I kind of want to be able to figure all of this out before I explode. I wish I knew the answer to everything. I know that isn't possible, but obviously I still want it. There is so much crap going on my life, and I'm warning you not to get too involved because sometimes it can really get on someone's nerves when they listen to me for too long. Too long being, maybe even as short as five minutes. Well I think I'm going to be up all night so I mightaswell right as much as I can while I'm up even if it's just rambling. Lots of things have really surprised me lately, about certain people and the amazing advice that they give. Spencer Reed is so confusing in all of his talking about science geeky stuff... I LOVE it. I'm so tired right now, but it's really funny because I'm so tired I actually understand what he's talking about. I would LOVE to meet him a lot, and I promise I'm going to marry a guy just like him. This episode is so creepy... but I LOVE IT! This woman is so insane... Wow, I'm being random. I just want to get to bed. I've tried to just fall asleep, but it doesn't really work. I'm a little bit annoyed with all of this concentrating I'm doing in the middle of this morning when I should be getting my beauty sleep. But there is so much stress going on and I have no idea how to deal with it, so I just decided I would blog about it, even if it took me three hours. I wish I could smile for real instead of just fake. I know I may seem depressed all the time, but I guess that's kind of what you got into when you started reading this. I just hope you get out of everything before I get too deep into my complaining... That is, unless you like hearing all about my problems with I completely don't mind. There is so much drama here, that I don't really know what to do. I guess at some time I really will get it all figured out.

Love you... I'm going to go now!