Time for blog post number two of the day. My, my, I'm thinking a lot today. This one is going to be about my on and off boyfriend. I'll be telling you important parts of the story as they come up, but for now, you can just know that we both still like each other, and we are waiting till were sixteen to officially start going out again. The two pictures are two optional covers for a book I'm writing about our story. I'm not sure which one to use, so it would be greatly appreciated if you guys gave me any suggestions.
So, for awhile--it seems like forever--this guy and I have been really good friends. I'm not scared to tell him anything, even the fact that I like him. Which I did, just yesterday. I'd been trying to work up the courage to talk to him since the beginning of school, but for some reason every time we leave school for the Summer we grow further apart and then we have to start over right where we left off. This year is no different. Very recently I have discovered that I still like, and very possibly am in
love with this ex-boyfriend of mine. I don't know why, but something clicked in my brain. I walked into the school a few weeks ago, and in my mind I said, "Woah, Tyler is turning out to be really cute!" I didn't tell anyone until a few days into last week. The important thing that happened though, is the conversation between me and Tyler yesterday.
I walked outside because I knew that's where he was going to be, and I sat down by his group and said, "I thought I'd join the party."
He said, "Hey, welcome. What did you want to talk to me about?"
"I can't say it right here."
"Where do you want to go?"
"Let's walk," I suggested.
We started walking, and I said. "I've thought about it a lot over the summer, and I've been thinking about it a lot lately--" I stopped. "You already know what I'm going to say, so just say it."
He teased me, and was like "Is it that.... no, it can't be...." He said. "Just go on."
"and, I've decided I still like you."
Okay, I have to explain something to explain, don't I. If you know me and Tyler's story even a little bit you know how powerful those words that I said are. Since last year, I have known that he has had a crush on me since Kindergarten, and something I've realized is that I have liked him that long too, even if it was very subtle to even me. Up until now, I didn't really realize what it meant to love someone--and neither did Tyler. That's what we were talking about while passing notes last year. That's also when we agreed to wait till sixteen which is where I got the story for Sixteen/Sweet Revenge.
Here's more of the conversation:
I said, "Oh, you know how you kept on getting on my nerves to find us a theme song?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Well I found one," I told him. "Have you heard
One And Only by Adele?"
"No," he said.
"It's a good song." I said in a whisper.
Then we walked over to the garbage cans so he could throw his food away. I said, "Oh, and I started writing our story like you wanted me to."
"Okay, cool." he said.
"Yeah, I only have like two paragraphs though, cause I just barely started today." I told him.
"You should email it to me so I can read it."
"Okay, you should email me your version so I can read that."
Then I walked away cause I had nothing better to do.
Thing is, I'm not really sure what to do... I don't think he fully understands exactly how far my feelings extend but I don't want to tell him because he's teased me about things like this before, and I'm pretty sure he'd still tease me, even thought the point of the whole situation is him. I'll make a chart later about good and bad things that have been happening. I'm not really sure he likes me anymore, but I really really hope he does. I'll probably at least wait to tell him how I really feel till fifteen. What do you guys think I should do? I am almost completely clueless.
<3/ Confused Soul
